Two Polarities this Election Season

Today is Election Day in the US.  I find it an enormous privilege to live in a democracy, (ok, a democratic republic), and I am grateful for the privilege to vote.

Actually, privilege is the wrong word.  It feels like a privilege, but in truth, it’s a civic responsibility.  It’s my responsibility to vote for the better future. 

But what criteria determine better?  Do I vote for the candidate who is better for me? The candidate who is better for our country?  Well, that’s quite a polarity, isn’t it?  Do right by me and do right by us.

This Me::We tension is a polarity that family leaders face regularly.  As leaders, they must manage the tension between what’s right for themselves, and what’s right for their family.  The answers are not always the same – what’s right for themselves may not be what’s right for their family business and vice versa. 

How do they choose between the needs of the individual and the needs of the collective?  Polarity thinking would invite a different question:  How might they capture both the upsides of meeting their own needs and the upsides of meeting the needs of the family?  That question sparks creativity, innovation and can lead to a better outcome for all.

Returning to the US election... how do we harmonize this Me::We polarity when we are faced with a binary, either/or choice?  Do I choose the candidate that’s better for me, or do I choose the candidate that’s better for us? 

Which leads to an interesting question:  Who constitutes “us?”  Our family and friends?  Our neighbors?  Everyone in the state?  Country?  Humanity?  The Earth?  It gets complex quickly, making it tempting to simplify and just vote for what’s right for me.  But we in the US have a cultural bias in favor of the individual over the collective.

Culturally (on average) in the West, the needs of the individual are celebrated over the needs of the collective.  To sacrifice oneself for the “greater good of society” is … what’s the word?... Naïve? Foolish?  I can see incredible upsides and painful overuses of Individualism.

In contrast, in the East, (culturally, on average) the needs of the collective take priority over the needs of the individual.  To sacrifice the greater good for oneself is culturally wrong.  I can see incredible upsides and painful overuses of Collectivism.

Are we in the overuse of Individualism in the US?  I fear so. Sprinkling a more collectivist ethos into our culture could pull us out of that overuse of Individualism.

But embracing WE over ME isn’t easy in today’s polarized political environment. It asks us to really listen to the other side…listen empathically to the political TV channel that makes our skin crawl.  That is a path to regaining a sense of WE; a feeling I miss greatly.

I’ll close by blending the two polarities this election season: Privileges::Responsibilities and Me::We. If you live in the US, I hope you exercise both your privilege and responsibility to vote, and as you select your candidate, I hope you mark the ballot of the candidate who meets more of the needs of both yourself and all your fellow citizens. That may bring us one step closer to feeling like a WE again.

To learn more about managing polarities, join my mailing list and/or read my new book, Hug of War: How to Lead a Family Business With both Love and Logic. Chapter 5 is dedicated to privileges and responsibilities in family businesses.